I am perched in my ivory tower overlooking downtown Mineola from my cozy hospital bed. Yes my body failed to absorb the clues and infection has dropped me flat on my back. But the infection takes no prisoners. It evokes a systemic response causing my frenemy Lupus to pevert itself. This time my joints and brain are exploding with a burning agony and a pressure that a chainsaw and a drill come to mind as a cure. Primitive but effective. I write this at a lucid moment as the most effective treatment for the brain pain is to sedate me from the world. Now I sit in an early stage of a dilaudid hug. The sedation has worn off and it returns. The doctors are again

concerned

but happy as i am looking better as who would not when the sadists grip of pain is broken albeit for a brief time. I feel wrecked as I feel torn between the bravery wall I maintain to keep the light in my family’s eyes and the utter exhaustion of the battle. But that evaluation is for another day. I feel the tug of sleep from the drug happily injected into my belly.