Hospitals are not immune to pathetic. I am so blessed to have a loving family and good friends. Bravery is relative but despite all my temptation to drop the wall it remains stoically bolstered against the tide from hell. For helpless is not permitted. But?

I am writing a second novel and exploring dominant and submissive roles. It is very applicable to hospitals and emotional walls. Honestly i would love to be submissive to some degree as a patient. Have a dom make decisions to insure my health and safety with my pleasure as their overwhelming motivation. To lie back and let the walls fall. To be able to unburden the fears unencumbered by my need to people please. My need to care. The idea is appealing to have sweet hands holding my face in place telling me “I’ve got you.”

Instead i continue to take care of. My role as the domme. My roomate in the early throughs of dementia aware shes losing her mind with no family and friends who are more afraid of her. And a nursing staff who have no clue how to focus her to relax at 330 am so I can get sleep. So my domme did it.
Case in point a friend reaching out on behalf of a friend who has more psych pathology than anyone should be burdened with in a major crisis. So my domme did it.
Case in point a family member who needs more reassurance than the person in the hospital bed. So my domme did it.
I am tired and spiraling down the rabbit hole. My incredible hospitalist embraces my inner submissive by asking “is there anything more i can do for you?” That’s for my inner sub.