I include a new link about how campus sexual assaults came to command new attention. The article is well written and takes an important view point. I shake my head. 30 years ago, as a college student my senior thesis was about college sexual assault. I wrote it as an intern for the President’s office. In addition to writing this thesis I served on the President’s task force on Women’s safety. I provided a voice for my fellow campus members. Why this particular subject? 30 years ago I was raped by one of my fellow students.
C was the man about campus. Smart, funny, handsome, C was in two of my classes. Prior to my living off campus, he lived around the hall from me. I found him non-threatening. I certainly never thought of him as a rapist. My soon to be rapist. The late night he showed up a my apartment, I was all ready in my PJ’s studying. Music was playing, my roommate’s bird chirped incessantly. She took an extra shift at work. The extra shift of mine so I could study. A flight up from the basement entrance to my apartment I let him in. My radar never questioned his arrival. I knew him, he had a girlfriend. I offered him a drink and excused myself to change into clothes. The door to my room opened and my life changed forever. When he was complete, he kissed my forehead and wished me luck on my exams. I was numb.
What happened over the course of the next few hours was the next crime. I called my girl friend and managed to get the words out. She picked me up and literally dragged me to the hospital where we both worked. She called a head and a resident I knew met us in the ER. The gyn room was a small windowless cubby next to the nurses station across from the trauma room. The exam was physically benign and emotionally exhausting. The Rape kit was not standard. The doc called the campus police. The officer that responded was also a friend. Emotionally supportive but his job was to call the county police because the crime was committed off campus. Then the crime. Two male officers responded. One more gruff and cold than the other. There was no such thing as a Special Victim’s Unit. After 3 hours, I decided with some very heavy coaxing that id not in my best interest to file charges. “You let him in. You offered him a drink. You knew him. Your bruises aren’t too bad.” flowed through my consciousness. And it was done. No muss, no fuss for the police. Me on the other hand, that’s a life time. I cannot hear the song when doves cry and when I hear cockatoo’s chirp, I flash back.
Flask forward years and I am a staunch supporter of victim’s rights. I have taught thousands of students in the EMS world about treatment of sexual assault victims. I proudly worked as a victim’s advocate before I was compelled to retire. Procedure wise things have changed drastically. I have had the pleasure of working with dedicated specially trained nurses, and police officers. Sadly not much else.
Today college campuses have not changed much. Freshman year between September and December is the most risky time on campus. It is in the best interest for the administration to not have crime on campus. In my day, as part of the task force, thanks to a brave female campus safety officer and a little stupidity, I was able to secure secret statistics showing the down grading of crime. Now with social media, instagram and alcohol it is very easy to turn a victim into morning after remorse. It is also sadly a compulsion of some women to make up tall tales. That is its own story.
In their inimitable fashion, laws are being drafted mandating among things numbers keeping, freshman are being given a mandatory crash course on the subject of sexual assault. Politicians are claiming sexual assault on campus is coming into the light. I do not know.
Lessons I have learned…Say no loud and clear continuously. Know your body. Report it and tell the truth. You are your best advocate. There are a lot of different motives involved. Tell someone immediately. This person is your outcry witness. Most victims have their best lucid minutes telling this person. Do not be ashamed. This is NOT your fault. You are not alone. People do care.
I pray as the mother of two daughters and two sons that sexual assault never raises its ugly head.
But I am not convinced.
Robin's Journey 